Let's imagine a scenario where you find yourself being the single parent of a two year old. You have this aspiration of generating a 6 figure business, but find yourself holding back on your goals.
You’re in this constant cycle of some lack, then abundance, some lack then some more abundance. Deep down you know what you’re capable of, but you find your inner limiting beliefs to be stronger than your faith.
Have you ever been there before? This blog is for you or anyone else out there that finds themselves struggling with their real life responsibilities, while stile working towards achieving their ambitious business goals.
Ashley was right there, in that exact same place just a few years ago. When she reached out to me, I gotta admit I had never coached a single parent before, but I knew that I could help her.
(In order to persevere privacy, Im using the name Ashley in place of the client I'm referencing here).
In retrospect, Ashley was at a place that we’ve all been before. She was struggling to maintain her day to day responsibilities, while still keeping up with the dream business she created. She knew she had it in her to make her dream business into the successful six figure business, she had always wanted. But deep down, her limiting beliefs just ate away at her.
Now some of us reading this may not be parents, but take note to the similarities in the limiting beliefs she had, to the ones we once had.
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Below are the top 4 steps I took her through. Feel free to follow along below and implement your own, by downloading my free workbook here.
Step#1: Become aware of your belief system
When we first began working with one another, Ashley thought along these lines:
“I’m a single mom to a two year old boy, how in the world can I make this happen?”
“Yes I have this big dream of being a six figure earner, but deep down I don’t think it’ll ever happen.”
“Am I a good enough mom? Am I a good enough business owner?”
“Everyone around me has lost hope in my future and what I’ll make of myself , maybe I should too”
“Money has always been tight. I don’t think that’ll ever change”
“My life has always been difficult, I guess it was meant to be this way”
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Can the current or old version of yourself relate to any of the limiting beliefs above?
Hmmmmm, interesting how we’re more similar than different.
You see, Ashley wasn’t doing anything that none of us haven’t done before. She was simply rereading a story to herself that was old, worn out and limiting. Did it come from her past? Sure did. Now would you agree, that it should’ve been left in that past with the person she used to be?
Yep, I think so too.
Now just like Ashley, we’ve all been there. This process doesn't just go for individuals like us who are always performing at our best and are constantly looking for areas in our lives where we can improve on. It also applies to those who we may place themselves in “average” category as well. Whether or not any of us wants to admit it however, change and growth is an inevitable part of life and it will happen regardless of what goals we’ve set out to achieve.
So what did we do with this awareness?
I began working with Ashley on her process of self-discovery. After offering her a series of tools and tips that guided her in uncovering her deepest worries, concerns and limiting beliefs, we began the mental cleansing process.
One limiting belief after another, we began to break down the origination of them. We helped uncover what these fear based beliefs were, from there we did some digging to help pin point the time in her life where these limiting beliefs stemmed from.
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Step#2: Discover the origination of these beliefs, then follow up with some logic
Let's break these down. We’ll first start with the limiting belief, find where it stems from and then provide some logical thinking to even it out.
“I’m a single mom to a two year old boy, how in the world can I make this happen?”
Origination: When she was growing up, she was told by many family members that she better not get pregnant before her 30s, or else the rest of her life will be very difficult and she won’t be able to achieve any of her own goals.
Logic: Anything is possible. Can it be challenging to raise a two year child on your own and still try to manage growing your dream business? Yes. Is it doable? Oh yes, it is!
“Yes I have this big dream of being a six figure earner, but deep down I don’t think it’ll ever happen.”
Origination: She is constantly being reminded by her family members that she needs to just focus on her son and get a full-time job. She is also told that she would make a better mom and employee than a business owner.
Logic: Leave the limiting beliefs and fears of those sharing them with you, with them. Yes, leave their beliefs with them. If it doesn't serve the best version of you, respectfully block it off. The reality is, anyone(yes anyone) can be a business owner-and a successful one at that. Sometimes its best to keep your dreams to yourself and only share them with those you know have their own-in which they’ve achieved or are achieving.
“Am I a good enough mom? Am I a good enough business owner?”
Origination: Her family members make her feel like she needs to become a better mom for her son. They believe she should raise her son the same way her mom raised her. (We already know what they think of her a business owner).
Logic: Ashley’s mom was married to her dad and planned her pregnancy at a stage in her life when she was ready for motherhood. She had the support of Ashley’s dad and being the retired nurse that she was, her parents were able to raise her without any financial concerns. Her mom in particular had already achieved her career goals before having Ashley. On the other hand, neither parent knew anything about business. They were both loyal employees from the day they were allowed to work, leading into their adulthood(nothing wrong with that by the way). But because of their lack of experience and knowledge in business, they hindered Ashley from perusing what made her happy.
“Everyone around me has lost hope in my future and what I’ll make of myself , maybe I should too”
Origination: Her parents have been disappointed in her ever since they found out she was pregnant. This was the icing on top, in their eyes. They were never supportive of her dreams and would constantly tell her to stick to being a mom and a get a safe job at a company. They believed this would be the only way she could make a decent living, to help raise her son.
Logic: Need we say this again? Clearly, Ashley’s parents don’t have any faith in her business aspirations. Whats does that mean? It's time for Ashley to have some faith in herself.
“Money has always been tight. I don’t think that’ll ever change”
Origination: Ever since she can remember, Ashley’s parents always argued about money. They would go days without speaking to one another and despite the decent careers the both of them held, her parents never seemed to hold onto their money responsibly. She grew up thinking, this was how it was supposed to be; her relationship with money was supposed to be a struggle.
Logic: Money is energy and the relationship we choose to have with it, will only determine the relationship we choose to have with anything else. When we make the conscious decision to become financially literate, we can take charge of our finances and make the best of them. We wont need to hold for dear life onto the limiting beliefs that our parents passed down to us, when we choose to replace those same beliefs with more rational and faith based ones. It all starts with the thoughts we choose to think.
“My life has always been difficult, I guess it was meant to be this way”
Origination: Whether it was her parents always arguing about money, their in laws, the household chores or whatnot, there was always a problem for everyone to be worried about. Ashley took this belief system with her into her adulthood. She applied it to each and every area of her life and unconsciously sabotaged what she truly wanted.
Logic: Life is what we make it. It can be difficult, if we choose to make it difficult. It can be great, if we choose to be make it great. Its as simple as that. Just because we saw those closest to us approach life from a specific perspective, doesn't mean we have to follow their lead. Its time to take control of your life, by taking control of your thoughts.
Once this was done, then Ashley and I began to work on how she could take her power back from these beliefs that we both agreed, no longer served here.
**Its important to be aware of where your limiting beliefs stem from, for the sole purpose of self-discovery and growth. No need to point any fingers here. It's our lives and our belief system that we have to take responsibility for.
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Step#3: Replace each and every limiting belief with a liberating one
From here, we began to replace each and every limiting belief with a faith based one. Here’s what this looked like.
“I’m a single mom to a two year old boy, how in the world can I make this happen?”
“I’m a single to a two year old boy. I’m going to make this happen!”
“Yes I have this big dream of being a six figure earner, but deep down I don’t think it’ll ever happen.”
“I have this big dream of being a six-figure business owner. I know its going to
happen soon!”
“Am I a good enough mom? Am I a good enough business owner?”
“I am the best mom and the best business owner I can be at this very moment. I will
continue to exceed these expectations and become better with my constant dedication to
my growth.”
“Everyone around me has lost hope in my future and what I’ll make of myself , maybe I should too”
“Despite what anyone around me may believe, I believe in myself and I see myself
achieving each and every goal of mine.
“Money has always been tight. I don’t think that’ll ever change”
“I have a very healthy relationship with money, in which I only see improving more with
time.”
“My life has always been difficult, I guess it was meant to be this way”
“My life has consisted of a series of beautiful lessons. I’ve grown from and made peace
with each opportunity and will continue to keep an abundant mindset at all times.
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Step#4: Rinse n Repeat
From this moment forward, Ashley began to continuously replace each limiting belief with an abundant one. Was it easy? Of course not. Was it worth while? Oh yes it was!
Ashley put in place a realistic plan to help tackle the areas of her life where she found herself struggling with most. She kept uncovering and ridding her limiting beliefs, one at a time. After integrating their new mindset into her life, Ashely went on to generate the six figure business she’s always dreamed of. She now has one of the most healthy and conscious relationships with not only her son and her parents, but also with the prosperity that she deserves!
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If you find yourself struggling with family members similar to Ashley’s, know that we were all given our families for a reason. Instead of blaming them for any of your shortcoming, begin looking for the lessons you’ve learned from them. Show them love, but don’t let that hold you back from what you truly desire. With time, they will only know to come around and jump on your bandwagon.
Moral of the story, despite where you find yourself resonating with this blog, know that despite what “obstacle” is in your way, chances are it all started in your mind. Start this beautiful journey of self-discovery and cleansing. Soon enough, you’ll start to notice your dream relationships and career will only know to follow you.
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Until next time my friends, keep your head up and know that whatever “obstacle” that comes your way throughout your business journey, its really just a blessing in disguise.
XO
-Bauer
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